


All That I Am

by jokerssmile



Series: Nothing [3]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:49:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerssmile/pseuds/jokerssmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the 3rd and final installment to Nothing & The Mess I Made. Maura and Jane are finally going to work through the things that have been bothering them in the six months since Maura broke up with Jane and walked out on her. <br/>This story is rated M for chapter 6 and for mild swearing and violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The majority of this chapter and chapter 2 are based on Season1 Episode 9, some of the dialogue and scenes may resemble some of the episode. However some things were switch up including names, situations and scenes to suit the story.

"I don't see a way to work this out Mother." Maura said to Constance as they sat in the sun room of her parent's house in London.

"There is always a way to work things out." Constance said, "Especially if you still love her."

"I never said I still loved her." Maura said putting her tea cup down.

"Darling, of course you still love her." Constance said, "It's written all over your face."

"I've hurt her too much now." Maura said to her staring down into her tea cup. "And besides, we're finally at a point where we aren't yelling at each other over the stupidest little things."

"She still loves you Maura, and you still love her, I don't see the problem." Constance said. "You broke up with her so you wouldn't lose her, but that's exactly what happened, you lost her."

Maura stared at Constance and she knew her mother was right. "What should I do?" Maura asked.

"Just be honest with her, if you've made a mistake then tell her that." Constance told her. "Just tell her you still love her."

"She'll never forgive me." Maura said sadly.

Constance covered Maura's hand with hers. "You'll never truly know that unless you try."

"This has to stop." Angela said to Jane as she picked up Jane's dirty clothes that were flung about Jane's apartment.

"Ma, I didn't ask you to come over and clean up." Jane said as she lay on the couch hung over again. It was 7am in the morning and Jane had a splitting headache.

"It's been six months Jane, enough is enough already." Angela said to her as she dropped the armful of clothes she had held on top of Jane.

"Damn it, Ma." Jane said sitting up and pushing the clothes off of her.

Angela pointed a finger at Jane, "Don't you curse at me young lady." She warned.

Before Jane could say anything to her mother, her cellphone rang, "Rizzoli." She said staring at her mom.

She listened for a minute before she hung up and got up from the couch. "I've got work." She said and went into her bedroom to get dressed.

"Doesn't Maura come back to work this morning?" Angela asked as she picked up Jane's dirty laundry and put it in a laundry basket.

"How should I know?" Jane asked from her room. She came out into the living room as she buckled her belt, "How do you know she's coming back to work today?" Jane asked looking at her mother.

"We talk from time to time." Angela said as she took dirty dishes from Jane's coffee table into the kitchen and put them in the sink to soak.

"Must be nice." Jane grumbled as she went back into her room.

"Janie, I've got to go now. I'll see you at the station." Angela called to her as she grabbed her purse then left.

Jane sat on her bed as she put on her shoes; Maura had been gone for 2 weeks in London with her parents. They hadn't spoken since she'd said goodbye in the squad room. Jane hoped that when Maura got home things wouldn't be awkward; she hoped that they'd resume their calm work relationship and things wouldn't be tense.

With a sigh Jane got up, clipped her badge to her belt, put her gun in her holster and went to work.

Jane and Frost ducked under the yellow tape and walked onto the crime scene. "Hey lady come on I gotta get to work." Some guy shouted to Jane from his car.

"Shut up!" She shouted at him pointing a finger in his direction. "Why the hell is it taking so long to get a damn warrant signed?" Jane asked Frost.

"Why are you so wound up?" Frost asked then he realized why as he saw Maura ducked under the tape and come onto the scene.

"Welcome back Dr. Isles." Frost said to her.

"Thank you." She said smiling, "Sorry it took me so long to get here, I was stuck in traffic." She said as she put her gloves on.

Jane stood on the other side of the blue gray car, where the body was inside. She watched Korsak yell at the same guy she'd just yelled at moments ago.

Maura came over to the other side of the car and stood next to Jane.

"We're waiting on a warrant but since it's a holiday weekend all the judges are off doing god knows what." Korsak to them as he walked over.

Jane got fed up waiting she called a tow trunk and had the tow truck driver take the car and the body back to the evidence garage.

Once at the garage Korsak, Jane and Frost worked on getting evidence from the car while Maura looked over the body for initial evidence.

Maura noted that the victim, a male in his 20s didn't have any fingerprints. "They were probably burned away by some type of acid." She said.

Korsak was digging through the trunk and found countless and passports with different names and cities on them. Also inside was a big white drawing pad with hand drawn art inside. "That shows signs of a very high IQ." Maura said to them.

"Well whatever it is, this guy was doing his best to remain a ghost." Jane said to her. "There's no registration for the car and no I.D on him."

Maura had her team come in and transfer the body down to the morgue once there Maura worked on the autopsy.

She had finished the autopsy and was making notes when Jane came in. "Hey." Jane said standing on the opposite side of the autopsy table.

"Hello." Maura said finishing her notes.

"Find anything?" Jane asked and Maura got up and went over to one of her computers.

"Cause of Death was massive cerebral hemorrhage caused by the ice pick." Maura said to her.

"Well I figured the ice pick had to play some part in it seeing as it was stuck in the guy's ear." Jane said, "But I'm talking about a possible I.D."

"I ran his dental records and found no match." Maura said to her, "However you can't hide from your DNA." Maura said as she took off her gloves. "I'm waiting on his results."

"Ok that's good." Jane said getting up to leave. She paused, "Did you have a nice time in London?" Jane asked trying to make polite conversation.

"Oh, well yes, thanks for asking." Maura said surprised Jane had asked. "I spent a lot of time with my mother. We went to a few gallery shows and an opera." Maura told Jane.

Jane smiled, "I'm glad you had a good time but I'm also glad you're back home." She said and she lingered a bit and the silence became awkward. "Let me know when you get the results." She said and made a quick exit.

Maura sat down in a chair by her computer. Constance's words rang in her ears, "Just tell her you still love her." Maura couldn't be that selfish, nothing had changed in the last 2 months, not really. Jane was just starting to be pleasant with her and if she told Jane she'd made a mistake 6 months ago who knows how Jane would react.

Maura couldn't put any more thought into it because her phone rang. She answered it and listened to the tech on the line tell her about the DNA sample from the John Doe on her table.

"What? That's not possible." She said to the tech. "No listen to me, I am looking at the results right now and I'm telling you that's not possible." Maura said as she stared at her computer screen.

Korsak walked into the morgue, "Is there a problem, Dr. Isles?" he asked her. She looked over at him and held up a hand.

"I don't cross contaminate my samples." She said into the phone. "You know what, I'll call you back." She said and hung up.

"I'm sorry about that Detective." Maura said to Korsak.

"Is there a problem with the DNA?" He asked.

"It's not possible." Maura said typing on her computer, she pulled up two DNA profiles, "This is the victims' DNA and this one is mine." She said showing Korsak.

"You see these two markers here?" She asked Korsak as she pointed to them on the screen, "They're the same in both samples."

"Well the department keeps our DNA samples just in case we contaminate crime scenes or other samples." Korsak told her. "Obviously there's been some kind of mistake."

"No, there are enough markers in both samples to come to a conclusion." Maura said to him.

"And what would that be?" He asked.

"It's a biological match." She said to him, when it didn't quite register to him what she was actually saying she said, "The man on that table is my brother."

"How can that be?" He asked. Maura just shook her head; she didn't really want to think about it right now.

"We have to tell Jane about this." He said to her.

"Why?" Maura asked confused.

"She's lead on this case Dr. Isles, she has to know the details." He told her and Maura nodded her head in agreement.

He left her down in the morgue to go get Jane. Maura sat down next to the man she knows now as her brother and stared at him. "Who are you?" She asked quietly.

Jane's entrance into the morgue scared Maura and she jumped, "Korsak said you needed to talk to me about the John Doe." Jane said walking over to her.

"The DNA results came back for him." Maura said standing up and going over to her computer, "It seems that John Doe and I are a match." She said showing Jane the computer screen.

"A match for what?" Jane asked looking at her.

"We're siblings, he's my half-brother. We share the same father." Maura told her.

"What?" Jane said looking at the John Doe, "How is that possible?"

"You know I'm adopted." Maura said, "This man is the son of my biological father."

"Are you sure?" Jane asked and Maura nodded her head yes.

"Well do you know who he is? Or who his father is?" Jane asked her.

"No, not yet." Maura said to her. Maura noticed that Jane was carrying something under her arm.

"What do you have there?" She asked and Jane took it over to a table and put it down.

"It's the drawings he had in his trunk." Jane said opening the big drawing pad.

Maura came over and looked through it, "They're very beautiful." She said admiring them. "It looks like the same view over and over again." She said as she looked at it closer and flipped through a few pages, "Wait, this might not be just a random pattern, this could be a building."

"Really?" Jane asked as she looked at the drawings trying to see how it could be a building.

Maura went to her computer and as she typed she mumbled something about trigonometry and building fronts. "If he drew this over and over, then he must have had a lot of time to stare at it." Maura said.

"That could mean he was staring at it from wherever he lives." Jane said finishing Maura's thought.

Maura scrolled through pictures on her computer of landmarks. Jane noticed it as the financial district.

"Wait, stop. Look, right there." Jane said and pointed to the screen. Maura stopped scanning through the pictures and came up to a building front that had the same stone arch that was in the drawings.

"I'll grab Frost and we'll check it out." Jane said to Maura then left.

Frost and Jane stood outside the front of the building from John Doe's drawings. "He has to live over there. But the building has been vacant for a while, it looks like it's in the process of being sold." Frost said.

"Well let's go take a look around shall we?" Jane asked and Frost smiled as he followed her across the street.

They walked cautiously into the building and up a long hallway. "Hey Frost." Jane said to him when she noticed a green laser pin light on his pant leg. He looked down then up towards the ceiling and spotted the camera, "Security system." He said to her and drew his gun as he walked up to the door at the end of the hall.

Jane pulled out her gun and Frost kicked open the door. They scanned the room with their guns out, looking for any evidence that someone was inside. They searched room to room there was a clear indication that someone was living there.

They went into one room and there was expensive computer equipment everywhere. They gave each other a look when Frost spotted a shoe under a desk. He signaled for Jane to cover him and they moved in.

"Alright come on out of there right now." Frost yelled and a guy crawled out from under the desk with a duffle bag, he put the bag on the desk then put his hands up. Frost grabbed him and handcuffed him.

Frost and Jane looked around and Frost grabbed some of the equipment, including a black and silver electronic box. "This looks like some kind of scanner." He said to Jane. They took the suspect down to the station for questioning later.

Frost, Jane and Korsak were looking at the information from the box that Frost brought back from the suspects place.

"It's to steal identities." Frost told them, "But get this, we think our suspect Becker and John Doe built it together and then Becker used it to find out who John Doe really was."

"So who is he?" Korsak asked.

"Well the only information we have on here is the name Colin Doyle." Frost said. "But he's not in the system.

Korsak looked like he was going to be sick, "He won't be."

"What do you mean?" Jane asked.

"Look up Patrick Doyle." Korsak told Frost and Frost typed in the name.

"You've heard of Paddy Doyle right?" Korsak asked Jane.

"Yeah he's Irish mob, an enforcer." Jane said.

"Colin is his son." Korsak said to her. "Paddy Doyle was Whitey Bolger's right hand man, when Bolger disappeared so did Doyle and he's been in hiding for 20 years."

"Hey, that's not all. Check this out; Becker had $250,000 wired into an offshore account." Frost said as he looked at his computer.

"Someone must have paid him for selling out Colin." Jane said looking at the monitor.

"No one ever really knew what happened to the kid." Korsak told them.

"Why kill Colin, if you want the old man?" Frost asked.

"It's the best way to lure him out. With a guy like Doyle, the best way to get to him is through his family. Blood is very important to him." Korsak said to Frost.

Downstairs in the morgue a lab tech stopped Maura as she was leaving. "Dr. Isles, this man is here to identify his son." The tech said as a tall man stood by him. "This is Mr. . ." The tech looked at the man.

"Mr. Selsi." The man said and Maura nodded and led him into the morgue.

They stood next to each other, Maura tried not to stare at the man. "I'm very sorry for your loss." She said to him.

"How was he killed?" Mr. Selsi asked staring at his son's body.

"He died of a cerebral hemorrhage." Maura answered him. The man looked right at Maura and she looked back at him. "I want to know how." He said.

"An ice pick." Maura said to him and he looked back at his son, "He was stabbed with an ice pick."

"We're looking for his killer." Maura said to him and he looked at her, a little smile crept onto his face, almost as if to say, 'not if I find him first.'

"What was he like?" Maura asked.

"He was too much like me." Mr. Selsi said with a hint of sadness.

"I've seen his drawings, he was brilliant." Maura said to him and Mr. Selsi nodded. "I have them if you'd like to take one to remember him by."

"No, I'm not going to forget my boy." He said to her.

"May I get you some water?" Maura asked him looking around for a glass.

"No." He said as he stared at Colin.

"It's right here. It's no trouble." Maura said as she turned to go get it he grabbed her by the elbow.

"Let me make this easy for you." He said letting her go and pulling out a small pocket knife. He cut a slice into his palm, took out a Kleenex and dabbed the blood and then handed the tissue to her.

"Goodbye Maura." He said staring into her eyes then he turned and walked away.

Maura did everything she could to not faint. She was shaking as she pulled out her phone and dialed.  
"Jane, I need to see you." She said then hung up.

Jane rode the elevator down to the morgue. She found Maura in her office sitting at her desk.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked as she sat in the chair opposite her. She spotted the bloody tissue on Maura's desk. "Did you cut yourself?" She asked concerned.

"What?" Maura asked, and then looked down at the tissue then back at Jane, "No, I'm fine." She said then stood up and went to close her office door.

"He was here." Maura said to Jane as she paced.

"Who was here?" Jane asked confused. "Why are you fidgeting?" She asked as she noticed Maura twirling the ring on her middle finger.

"He does that too." Maura said remembering the man twirling the ring on his left hand. "He fidgets." She said shaking out her hands.

Jane stood up and took Maura by the shoulders, "Stop." She commanded of Maura and she stopped pacing. "Now, sit down and tell me what the hell is going on?"

Maura went back to her seat and Jane went back to hers, they sat down and Maura stared at the tissue.

"I sent a sample of the blood on this tissue to the lab and put a rush on it." Maura said to her.

"Ok and who's blood is it?" Jane asked.

"It's the blood of biological father." Maura told her, and then she turned her computer monitor so Jane could see. "This man is my birth father." She said and pointed to the screen.

Jane stared at the black and white photo of a Paddy Doyle. "He introduced himself as Mr. Selsi, that's my adoptive name spelled backwards." Maura told her as she got up and started pacing in her office again.

"He was toying with me the moment he got here." Maura said to Jane.

"Maybe he just came to say goodbye to his son." Jane suggested.

"He's a ruthless killer; I've looked at some of his files Jane." Maura said to her.

"Whoever killed Colin knew it would draw Paddy out of hiding." Jane said to Maura then looked at her, "Please for the love of god, stop pacing." Jane asked getting frustrated by Maura's constant movement.

Maura sat back down at her desk and put her head in her hands.

"You could be in danger." Jane said to her and Maura looked up.

"Paddy Doyle isn't going to kill me." Maura said to her.

"Whoever killed Colin, if they figure out who you are they won't hesitate to go after you." Jane said and pulled out her phone. "We need some help."


	2. Chapter 2

Frost and Korsak came down to the morgue where Jane and Maura were waiting for them.

"If Paddy managed to get in and out of the ME's office undetected that means he still has some connections in the department." Korsak said to them as he closed the blinds to the windows.

"That means we can't trust anyone in the department or in the DA's office." Jane said as she pulled files out of a file box.

"Whoever wants Paddy Doyle will not hesitate to use Dr. Isles as bait to make that happen." Korsak said and Maura looked at him.

"Well she's safe for now. Only the four of us in the department know, and of course there's Doyle." Jane said.

"We have to find Colin's killer quick then." Frost said picking up a file box and putting it up on a desk.

A couple hours after looking through boxes and boxes of files on Paddy Doyle everyone was exhausted.

"Paddy Doyle had a lot of enemies, but these guys are at the top of the list." Korsak said pulling out pictures, and naming names as he showed them the pictures, "Mickey Donnell, the Donegal family, Danny Flanagan and Tom Rourke."

"All of these men have had family soldiers murdered by Doyle." Korsak told the group.

"So then what are we waiting for?" Frost asked, "Let's drum up some reasons to question them?"

Korsak laughed a bit, "You don't get it. These guys are like the CEOs of Irish crime families. You can't just walk up to them and ask them to come down for a chat."

"Well I'll go see if I can pull anything off the encryption scanner, see if there's some kind of connection between one of these guys and the hackers." Frost said hopping off the desk he was sitting on and headed out the door.

"I'll go look over the body again, maybe there's something I'm not seeing." Maura said getting ready to leave.

"Maura, come on you don't have to do that." Jane said but Maura continued out the door.

"Let her go Jane, it's probably better if she's working." Korsak said stopping Jane from following Maura. "The best thing we can do is solve this."

Jane stood in the evidence garage staring at the car they'd brought in. She chewed on her bottom lip. "If he died here, there's got to be something." Jane said out loud as she walked to the front of the car.

"We've been over it again and again." Korsak said and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Did you see this dent here?" Jane asked leaning down to examine the dent to the front right of the bumper.

"Yeah well that's Boston drivers for you." Korsak said as he looked through a report. "Yeah here it is, a patrol officer noted that it rolled into the car parked in front of it."

Jane opened up the driver side door and sat in the seat. She looked at the dash, opened the glove box then flipped down the passenger side visor then the driver side visor. A small black and yellow box was attached.

"It's some sort of aftermarket road side assistant kit." Korsak said and Jane gave him a look.

"What? The kid was smart; he gets free road side assistance." Korsak said with a chuckle.

"No, don't you get it, it's activated any time there's an accident." Jane said to him, "Ok vics' car rolled into another car maybe during the struggle."

"Possibly as he was being murdered." Korsak said from the backseat.

Jane reached up and hit the button on the road side assistance device.

A male's voice came on, "Hello, this is road assist. how may I help you?"

"This is Detective Jane Rizzoli. I need to know if you have any recordings of a crash in this vehicle." Jane said to him.

"Uh, let me check our records." The man said there was a brief pause and then the man came back on the line, "Yes we have one recording."

"Can you play it please?" Jane asked him.

"I'm sorry you'll need a court order for that." The man said.

Jane hit the button and turned it off. She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes.

"Hey, that's good news, don't worry we'll get one." He said to her and they both got out of the car.

They rode the elevator back upstairs and were walking up the hall talking about the case when Frost popped out of the Intelligence center he'd been working in.

"Hey guys we got a problem." He said to them and they stopped walking. "I was running the information to find some leads, and someone hacked into the Medical Examiners database and they got into Colin Doyle's file."

Jane's eyes widened, "Are Maura's lab results in there?"

"Yeah, whoever was looking at Colin Doyle's file knows Maura is his sister." Frost told her.

Panic and fear swept over Jane, "And Patrick Doyle's daughter." She said quietly as she pulled out her phone and dialed Maura's number. She took off running down the hall to the elevators. Maura wasn't picking up.

Down in the morgue Maura was cleaning some of her instruments when she heard the backup warning beeps of one of the coroner vans in the loading bay. Maura went over to the counter and hit the red button that opens the door to the bay. As soon as she stepped through the plastic curtain someone grabbed her and covered her mouth with a towel before she could scream. Within minutes Maura was knocked out and hauled over to the van and placed in back. Maura's hands were tied behind her back and her feet were tied together. The van then took off from the loading bay.

Jane ran into the morgue and over to the loading bay door as Korsak and Frost followed her. She looked out over the bay and saw no one.

When Maura woke up she was in complete darkness and panicked when she realized that she had been blindfolded. Her hand was behind her back and zip tied together and her ankles were zip tied to the chair. She pulled against her restraints, her mouth was taped shut. She heard a man's gruff voice say, "The hard parts done, I got her here to the warehouse, now all you have to do is wait for the boss to show up."

Another voice, also male said, "I'm the one that hacked into the system after I was sprung from jail, I'm the one that found out who she really is. That was the hard part. All you had to do was knock her out and haul her around."

"You cyber nerds, you think your shit don't stink because you can type a few things onto a keyboard. It's guys like me that gotta do all your heavy lifting and if it weren't for guys like me, you'd still be sitting at your computer plotting futile attempts to take over the world." The first man said with a snort.

Maura heard heavy footsteps retreating and then the slam of a metal door.

Maura could hear something shuffling near her and then someone pacing in front of her, the second man was now talking on the phone. "Tell your boss I did what he asked, she's here now." He said into the phone and then hung up. The footsteps stopped and she could feel the man's breath on her face as he leaned over her and said, "It will be all over soon."

Maura mumbled against the tape but the man ignored her and walked away.

Back at the station Jane was freaking out, "We have to find her." She said, "Maybe Becker knows something." She said and they went to the interview room they left him in. It was empty.

"Where the fuck is he?" Jane asked out loud. She saw Frankie across the room, "Frankie!" She called out to him and when he looked up she waved him over.

"There was a guy in here we were holding for questioning, his name was Darren Becker." Jane asked him.

"He was kicked loose about 5 hours ago." Frankie said to her. "There was no reason in the log of why he was here."

"What the hell do you mean kicked loose? By who?" Jane asked getting angry.

"I don't know, read the log sheet Janie." He told her then walked away.

Korsak grabbed the log sheet and read through the names, "He was released by Officer Kurt Moore." Korsak told them.

"Who the hell is Kurt Moore?" Jane asked looking around the station helplessly.

"Frost, go through the database and see if there's a cop named Kurt Moore working here." Jane told him and Frost sat down at the nearest desk and logged on.

He typed and searched through the database. "There's no cop named Kurt Moore that works here, Jane." Frost said as he typed more on the computer.

At the warehouse Maura was sitting helplessly waiting for the man to return. She heard him come back into the room, "If I take the tape off your mouth, do you promise not to scream?" He asked her.

Maura nodded her head yes and without warning he ripped the tape off her mouth.

She wanted to cry out but she held it in, "What's going on? Why am I here? Who are you?" Maura asked.

"Everything just got out of hand; you have to understand this isn't the way things were supposed to turn out." He said to her.

"I don't understand what's going on." Maura said to him confused.

"You are my only ticket out of this mess." He told her then left the room again. He came back moments later with a water bottle. "Drink some of this." He said to her as he uncapped the bottle and went to hold it to lips. She pulled her head back and away.

"It's just water." He said to her and held it up to her again but she refused it. "Suit yourself." He said and took a big swig of it himself. He put the cap back on then walked away. Maura wiggled her hands against the white hard plastic of the zip tie but she couldn't break it.

He came back in the room, "Please don't." She asked of him when she heard the ripping of duct tape.

"I have to." He said and put the tape across her mouth before she could protest.

Back down in the Intelligence center, Korsak, Jane and Frost were working hard trying to find Maura. "My guy in Southie says he's not hearing a thing." Korsak said hanging up the phone.

"All my confidential informants are pretty much useless." Frost said slamming the phone receiver down.

"This is bullshit. We should be out there looking for her." Jane said as she paced around the room like a caged animal.

"Where?" Korsak asked, "We have no idea where she could be."

Frost was typing on his keyboard, "Hey, I think I have something." Frost said and Jane and Korsak joined him at his computer. "Look at this." He said pointing to a program he had running, "I put in the name Kurt Moore so it can check for alias'" Frost said to them.

The computer chimed and one name popped up, "Son of a bitch." Jane said as she stared at the name Tom Rourke.

"Tom Rourke must have been the one to pay Becker for the information about Colin. Maybe he had Becker hack into the files and find out more about it and that's when he stumbled upon Maura's file." Frost suggested.

"Frost, see what you can find out about Tom Rourke." Jane told Frost and Frost went to work. "Korsak call more of your friends see if they've heard anything." She said as she was headed out the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked her as he got on the phone.

"To find a new approach." She said and left.

She went back upstairs and to her desk and tried tracking the GPS of the missing coroner van. She was surprised when she managed to get a hit. The van was in the industrial district of South Boston. Jane grabbed her keys and headed out to her car. She hauled ass to the area where the van was and stopped just outside its location.

Jane saw the white van parked on the side of the warehouse she crept up to it slowly with her gun drawn, she peaked inside and saw the black hoodie that Darren Becker was wearing earlier.

Jane crept along the warehouse looking for a way in. She was on the right side of the building when she found a side door with a small window; she peaked inside and saw Maura bound to a chair.

Jane ducked back away from the door to reassess the situation. Jane looked in the window again, she didn't see anyone in the same area as Maura, and she was just sitting there looking helpless.

Jane quietly opened the door and eased her thin frame inside. She crouched down a bit as she brought up her gun and scanned the room. She inched her way closer and closer to Maura and noticed that she'd been blindfolded.

"Hey, I'm still waiting here for someone to show up. Where is your boss?" Darren Becker was talking on his phone when he walked out of the back area. He spotted Jane and dropped his phone.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled as he pointed his gun at her.

"Listen, whatever this is, you don't want to do it." Jane said to him as she pointed her gun at him.

Maura sat up straight at hearing Jane's voice. 'Oh Jesus, not again.' She thought.

"You don't understand." He said to Jane, "She's my only way out."

Jane looked over at Maura but still held her gun on Becker.

"Drop your gun." He said to Jane as he kept his gun trained on her. Jane made no move to lower her weapon.

"I said, drop your gun!" He yelled and pointed the gun at Maura's head.

"Don't!" Jane shouted at him holding up a hand. Maura turned her head in the direction of Jane's voice.

"There, okay." She said and dropped the gun on the ground, she held up her hands to show she had nothing else in them.

"Kick it over here." He said to her still holding the gun on Maura. Jane did what he asked and her gun clattered over to him. He picked it up and put it in waist band of his jeans.

"Now, tell me how is she your way out of all this?" Jane asked him and he pointed his gun back at Jane.

"Tom Rourke wants her to get to Paddy Doyle and I'm going to give her to him and he'll help protect me." Becker told her.

Jane scoffed at the ridiculousness of the idea knowing that a mob boss would never offer protection to scum like Becker and more than he'd kill Becker as soon as he got what he wanted.

Becker looked from Jane to Maura, he went over to her and ripped the tape off her mouth and this time Maura did cry out, and Jane cringed at the sound.

"Where's Paddy Doyle?" He asked her Maura.

"Jane, get out of here, please." Maura begged.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." Jane said and if Maura could see the fierce look in Jane's eyes she'd know just how much she meant it.

"Oh that's very touching." He said "But that's not what I asked you." He said and struck Maura across the face with the butt of his gun. Maura cried out in pain and Jane made a move to get to Maura but Becker pointed his gun at Jane, "Do it! I fucking dare you." He said to her.

Jane stopped and stood there, watching a small line of blood trickle down Maura's cheek. Jane clenched her Jaw.

"What do you want?" Maura asked.

"I want to know where Paddy Doyle is." He said to her.

"I don't know where Paddy Doyle is." Maura answered him.

"Argh!" He yelled in frustration and hit Maura across the face again with his gun. Jane took that moment to rush Becker and tackle him to the ground. She managed to knock the gun free from his hand and punch him in the face.

He punched Jane in the stomach and it knocked the breath out of her. He boot kicked her so she fell to her back. He pulled out Jane's gun from his waist band but Jane recovered and knocked him over again. They wrestled for dominance. She grabbed the hand with the gun and tried knocking it out of his hand again but he had a firm grip on it. It was pointed now just by her left shoulder. Jane used their off balance position to head butt him just as he pulled the trigger and the gun went off.

"JANE!" Maura cried out at the sound of the gunshot. Maura waited for a response, all she heard was shuffling and heavy breathing. Someone was coming towards her.

A hand reached out for the blind fold, fingers brushed her cheek and Maura flinched, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" She yelled but the hand removed the blindfold and Maura blinked her eyes a few times to get her eyes to focus.

"Easy, Maura." Jane said to her cupping her face. "It's just me."

Maura put her head down and started to cry, "What the hell are you doing here?" She asked through her sobs.

Jane kneeled down in front of her. She didn't say a word as she pulled out her pocket knife and cut the plastic zip ties around Maura's ankles. Jane looked up at Maura then she went around to the back and cut her hands free.

Maura looked at Becker lying on the floor, "Is he dead?" She asked.

"No, he's knocked out cold but he won't be like that forever." Jane said as she freed Maura's hands.

Maura looked at her wrists, bright red marks encircled them.

"What about the second guy?" Maura asked looking around.

"What second guy? Becker was the only one here." Jane said to her.

"No, there was another guy; he had a deep voice, kind of scratchy. The guy that took me from the morgue was strong." Maura said looking at Becker, "And that guy doesn't look like he could have carried me out of the morgue."

"There's no one else here, it was just Becker. Maybe he had some help but that help is long gone now." Jane said then looked at Maura, "Can you walk?" Jane asked as she picked up her gun and put it back in its holster

"I think so." Maura said as she stood. She lost her balance and fell forward a little but Jane caught her.

"Lean on me." Jane said putting an arm around Maura's waist. "Now let's get the hell out of here." She said and they rushed out of the warehouse and to Jane's car.

In the car Jane made a call to Korsak and told him that she had Maura, it was a long story but to meet them at the hospital.

Maura just stared at Jane as she drove. Jane's lip was bloody, she was covered in sweat and dust, her hair was a mess. Maura felt her body being taken over by shock and she started closed her eyes.

"Hey, don't do that." Jane said to Maura waking her up, "We're almost at the hospital." Jane was having a hard time focusing because of the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Jane parked the car at the emergency entrance, got out and grabbed Maura and they went inside. She flashed her badge and a nurse escorted them both to an exam room where they waited for a doctor.

Jane took a moment to look at Maura, her cheek was cut, swollen and a big nasty bruise was already starting to form. Maura's eyes were red and tired, her wrists had marks on them and one was slightly bleeding.

Jane grabbed a paper towel and wet it to wipe the blood from her lip and chin before tossing it in the waste bin, "Hell of a first day back from vacation." Jane said with a snort, "You find out you have a half-brother but only after he dies. A ruthless mobster is going after your birth father who just happens to be an Irish mob boss and killer himself then you get kidnapped and held hostage so you can be traded like some pawn in some sick mob boss game."

"I'm glad you find my situation so amusing." Maura said to Jane as she sat on the examination bed.

"Hey, what are you getting angry at me for?" Jane asked but Maura didn't get a chance to answer because Korsak pushed open the door and came in.

"Jesus Christ, are you two okay?" He asked looking between Jane and Maura.

"No I don't find any of this amusing." Jane said standing up and glaring at Maura, completely ignoring Korsak's question.

"I don't find it very funny having to rescue you from some crazy son of a bitch who's going to trade you over to another crazy son of a bitch." Jane continued.

"Well who asked you to?" Maura yelled at her, "Nothing's changed; you're still the same jump-before-you-think person you ever were!" Maura huffed, "My mother was wrong."

"You don't get it do you?" Jane said with a sigh. She looked Maura in the eyes, "This is who I am, this person is who I've always been."

Maura broke off their gaze and looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap.

"You used to love this person." Jane said to Maura then pushed passed Korsak and opened the door. "Another thing you'll never get, I'm only like this when the people I love are in danger." She said with a sad glance at Maura before she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Korsak followed Jane out the door. "Hey what the hell is going on?" He asked stopping her in the hall.

"I found Maura. I used the coroner vans GPS to track her down. Darren Becker had her tied up in a warehouse in the old industrial district." Jane said to him.

"I'm not talking about that Jane." He said getting angry at her, "You just take off and not give me or Frost a heads up. You rush in there with no backup, no vest, God knows what could have happened to the both of you."

"So you're pissed off at me too?" Jane asked, "This is unbelievable, you sound like Maura."

"Well maybe Dr. Isles was right." He said to her and he regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

Jane just looked at him, then turned and walked away. "Jane, come on wait!" He called after her but she completely ignored him and found a quiet waiting room to go into.

She called Frost who was still at the station she gave them the location where she found Becker and Maura and told him to tell Cavanaugh what's going on.

She sat in the waiting area, her head in her hands. The adrenaline was fading from her body and her hands started to shake. She sat there for almost 20 minutes trying to calm down before she got up and headed back down to Maura's room.

Korsak was waiting outside Maura's room, "Jane, listen." He said taking Jane by the elbow stopping her before she went inside. Jane looked at him, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean what I said." He told her. She gave him a small smile and he let go of her arm so she could go into the room.

Maura was still sitting on the examination bed, her face and wrist still hadn't been attended to. "No one's been in to check on you yet?" Jane asked.

"No." Maura said quietly.

"I'll find someone." Jane said and turned to leave.

"Don't go, please." Maura called after her and Jane stopped and turned around. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's fine." Jane said with a laugh, "I'm used to it by now." She said taking a few steps closer to Maura.

She lifted Maura's head up with a finger under her chin. "That looks really bad." Jane said looking at Maura's cheek trying to avoid looking her in the eyes. "Does it hurt?" Jane asked as her thumb lightly brushing Maura's bottom lip.

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and she smiled, "Just a little."

Jane leaned down inches from Maura's lips, "Wait." Maura said stopping her.

Jane stopped immediately she stood up straight, her hand dropped from Maura's chin. She took a few steps back from Maura, "I'm sorry." Jane said then sat down in one of the chairs in the room.

They sat quietly for a minute. "Hey, what did you mean when you said your mother was wrong?" Jane asked Maura trying forget the awkwardness.

"I really don't think this is the time or place to talk about it." Maura said to her and Jane sighed.

"You really think 6 months is enough to change a person's whole being?" Jane asked and Maura tilted her head questioningly.

"We've avoided a lot of things Maura these last few months and that's something we never would have done before." Jane said to her.

"I know." Maura said quietly.

"Do you just hate me now?" Jane asked looking at Maura, "I mean is that it?"

"Why on earth would you think I hate you?" Maura asked surprised Jane would ask such a thing.

"Maura, we were together for a year, you broke up with me while I was in the hospital and for 4 and a half months you barely spoke to me. You pushed me away and completely cut me out of your life, you refused to talk about our relationship or what happened." Jane said to her, "You barely look at me anymore."

Maura looked down at her hands, "I thought it would be easier." Maura said to her.

"You thought what would be easier?" Jane asked.

"If I distanced myself from you, then maybe you'd just forget about me and maybe you'd move on." Maura answered.

Jane scoffed, "You must really not think that much of me." Jane shifted in her seat. "You broke up with me over some bullshit excuses that you never explained. You were scared I get that. You think I'm reckless or I chase after danger." Jane said as she stood up. "But, you've known me for 2 years, you know who I am, you know what this job entails. I don't run after danger at every turn." She said, "But when it comes to the people I love, like Frankie," She paused and looked at Maura, "Or you, then you're damn right I'm going to run after it."

"Jane…" Maura started to say but Jane cut her off.

"We shared a home and a life. We were in love; we shared almost everything with each other." Jane said, "But you know what we never shared with each other?" Jane asked.

"What?" Maura asked looking up at Jane.

"We never shared our fears. Not once did you mention to me that you were scared about the job I did. That's why that day in the hospital I was surprised and confused. You just dumped me and walked away." Jane said taking a step closer to Maura.

"Jane, I really don't want to talk about this anymore right now." Maura said her eyes filling with tears.

"Tough shit." Jane said getting angry. "6 months of this bullshit, I'm sick of it. You've dictated how everything should go." She said as she started to pace again. "You decided that we can't be together anymore, you decided that we have a pleasant work relationship, you decided that we don't talk about us, our relationship or anything else. Well I'm done Maura, we're gonna talk about this." Jane said as she stopped right in front of Maura.

A doctor opened the door, "Dr. Isles?" He asked coming in and Maura nodded.

"Go away." Jane said rudely to the doctor and he looked at her confused.

"Umm I'm sorry; I need to examine the patient." He said going over to Maura's side.

"We're not done, so don't go anywhere." Jane said to Maura, "I'll come back in a bit and we'll finish our talk." Jane said to her and then left.

"Detective, let's get you into an exam room." A nurse said taking Jane by the arm and leading her down the hall and into a room. Jane sat for 10 minutes before a doctor came in and gave Jane an exam. She asked Jane all kinds of questions that only pissed her off and made her antsy to get out of there and back to Maura.

The doctor gave Jane the all clear after an hour of sitting in the exam room waiting. She hopped off the examination bed and headed back to Maura's room. She pushed open the door and found it empty. She went to the nurses' station and asked one of the nurses and she told Jane that Maura had been released.

"Son of a bitch." Jane cursed under her breath. She was just about to leave the hospital when she saw Frost, Cavanaugh and Korsak coming up the hall to her.

"Rizzoli, you want to explain to me what the hell is going on?" Cavanaugh asked her as they stood in the middle of the hallway.

"Yeah, I'll explain but not here. Let's do this at the station." Jane said and she walked passed them and out the doors to her car.

Once at the station the four of them gathered in one of the conference rooms. Jane and Frost took turns feeding all the information they had about Becker, Colin Doyle and Paddy Doyle to Cavanaugh. Jane told him about Becker's plans and about how she'd ended up at the warehouse. She practically begged Cavanaugh to keep quiet about Maura and Doyle's connection especially when they knew for a fact that there were still people on the inside of the department working to help Doyle and Tom Rourke, who somehow managed to slip into a police station and release a suspect who kidnapped their medical examiner.

Cavanaugh told Jane that nothing about Maura and her connection to Doyle would be made public. He told Jane that when the police arrived at the warehouse Darren Becker was nowhere to be found. That worried Jane because he knew that Maura was Doyle's daughter and that information was worth a lot to some mobsters who'd do anything to make Doyle pay.

After the meeting Jane called Maura's cell phone, "Hello?" Maura said.

"Where the hell are you?" Jane asked as she stood by her work desk.

"I'm down in my office looking through paperwork." Maura told her.

Jane hung up the phone without saying goodbye and headed for the elevators. She got off at the morgue and went right into Maura's office without knocking.

"What part of, 'we're not done, don't go anywhere.' do you not understand?" Jane asked fuming, "And why the hell would you leave the hospital without telling anyone or having someone escort you?"

Maura closed the folder to the file she was reading, got up from her desk and went to close her office door. "I didn't tell anyone because I didn't think I needed to." Maura said as she went and sat back down.

"You were just kidnapped Maura." Jane said, "Do you know what it's like for me to walk into a room you're supposed to be in and not find you there?"

"I'm sorry I scared you." Maura said, "I left because I was released and I didn't think the hospital was the proper place to continue the discussion we were having."

"So you walked." Jane said as she stood looking down at Maura, "I'm not surprised, it's what you do. Shit gets tough or you can't handle it and you just walk away."

Maura looked hurt by the words. "You're right Jane."

Jane was shocked that Maura actually admitted it. She went and sat in the chair across from Maura. "Why?" Jane asked and Maura shrugged her shoulders.

"I really don't know." Maura said looking at Jane, "Maybe it's easier than dealing with things I can't."

Jane sat back in her chair and let out a little laugh, "Well of course it's easier but I never thought you'd be the one to take the easy way out."

"I'm not as tough as you Jane." Maura said looking down at her desk.

"It's not about being tough. It's about accepting that there's stuff out there that's hard to deal with." Jane said, "But you see, I had you to help me with that, I leaned on you."

Maura looked at her and Jane said, "I thought you knew that I was there for you to lean on too."

Maura sighed as she looked at Jane. Their moment was interrupted by Jane's cellphone ringing. Jane didn't want to answer it, she wanted to stay down here, talk to Maura and work stuff out. But the real world was calling and she picked up, "Rizzoli."

"Jane, we found Becker." Frost said on the phone.

"Great bring him in." Jane said to him.

"He's dead, Jane." Frost told her.

"What?" Jane asked standing up.

"He was found in his apartment. It looks like he went back there to get rid of the evidence and the equipment before getting out of town but he was killed." Frost said.

"Get the cameras then." Jane told him.

"Cameras are gone." Frost said, "Whoever did this didn't want to leave anything behind."

"How'd he get killed?" Jane asked and Maura mouthed the word 'who?' and Jane held up a hand.

"Same way Colin did, an ice pick shoved in his ear." Frost said, "We need Dr. Isles down here." He told Jane.

"Ok Frost, thanks for the heads up." Jane said and hung up.

"Well we don't have to worry about Becker blabbing to anyone about who you are." Jane said to Maura as she put her phone back in her pocket. "He was killed, just like Colin."

"Let me notify my team then we can go." Maura said getting on her phone and calling her team together. She hung up the phone then go up, "Let's go." And Jane drove Maura to the scene.

Once at Becker's apartment, Maura and her team went to work. She looked over the body then had her team transport the body to the morgue, Jane had Korsak and Frost work the scene while she took Maura back to the morgue.

"You know, you don't have to stay down here with me." Maura said to Jane as she prepped the body for autopsy.

"It's fine, I have no where I need to be." Jane said as she leaned against the counter her arms crossed.

Maura started her exam of Becker; she went over his body checking for trace evidence.

"What was your mother wrong about?" Jane asked out of nowhere.

Maura was busy checking Becker's hands and nails; she looked up, "What?"

"You said your mother was wrong, I'd like to know about what." Jane said, "Since I have a feeling she was talking about me."

"You want to talk about this now while I'm working on Darren Becker's body?" Maura asked halting her work and looking at Jane.

"We've talked about a lot of stuff down here over dead bodies." Jane said, "Why should this be any different?" Jane asked.

Maura sighed, she went back to work, and "My mother and I were talking about our relationship, yours and mine that is." Maura said.

"Wait, you talk to my mom and your mother about us but you refuse to talk to me about it?" Jane asked confused.

"Ok you want to talk about us, so let's talk." Maura said as she made the Y incision on Becker.

Jane was lost for words; she really didn't expect Maura to want to talk.

"Nothing to say?" Maura asked with a small smile, "Let me say something first before we get into something deep." Maura said putting her scalpel down.

Maura looked at Jane, "Thank you for coming to save me."

"I always will." Jane said to her.

"Why?" Maura asked and she really wanted to know.

Jane chuckled and shook her head, "You truly don't get it." Jane said then walked over to the other side of the autopsy table where Maura was and stood in front of her, "I do it because I love you." Maura looked away from Jane's gaze. "I never stopped loving you."

"Jane…" Maura said taking a step back so Jane wasn't in her personal space anymore.

"Look, you don't have to say anything, you asked and I told you." Jane said with a shrug. She took a step back when she saw that she'd made Maura uncomfortable.

"No, I need to explain something to you." Maura said taking off her purple gloves, "And I need you to really hear me."

"Okay." Jane said as she went back to leaning on the counter away from Maura.

"The worst day of my life was that day in the BPD. It wasn't because Bass was sick, or Frankie was hurt. It wasn't because there were gunmen shooting the place up. It wasn't because we were stuck in the morgue with Bobby pointing a gun at us." Maura said and took a shaky breath. She looked up at Jane, "It was because Bobby ripped you away from me, dragged you outside and your only option was to shoot yourself. I ran outside heard the gun shot, saw you falling and I just knew you were dead." Maura said as tears stung her eyes.

"I ran to your side, but there was nothing I could do for you. I was completely helpless; no one has ever made me feel completely helpless before, Jane." She said as she wiped a tear from her face. "I promised myself if you recovered that, I would never be a reason for you to be reckless like that, and I wouldn't let you make me feel helpless ever again." She told Jane then chuckled, "I guess today I broke that promise huh?" She asked Jane.

Jane walked over to Maura again, "You have to understand, that day, I didn't just let Bobby take me to save Frankie." Jane told her. "I did it because I saw the look in his eyes." Jane said as she took a step closer to Maura.

"He was going to kill you Maura. You pushed the button on the radio, you outed him to everyone in the BPD. He knew there was no way out for him." Jane said looking down at her, "He was going to kill you."

Maura put her head down, covered her face with her hands and cried, she hadn't even thought about that and hearing Jane say the words, it scared her. Jane moved in and wrapped her arms around Maura and held Maura close as she cried.

Frost pushed open the door to the morgue, "Uh, sorry." He said on seeing Jane holding Maura. Maura quickly left Jane's embrace, taking a few steps away and Jane turned and glared at Frost, "What?" Jane asked practically growling.

"Cavanaugh wants an update on the case and the findings of Darren Becker autopsy." Frost said.

"Yes, well I'm still doing the autopsy." Maura said clearing her throat and wiping her face.

"Ok, I'll let Cavanaugh know." Frost said and left the morgue.

"Maura…" Jane said turning back to Maura.

"I better get back to work Jane." Maura said as she put on a new pair of gloves and picked up her scalpel.

"Yeah, sure." Jane said and walked out of the morgue and headed to the elevator to go back upstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Maura couldn't concentrate as she did Darren Becker's autopsy. She kept focusing on Jane's words, 'He was going to kill you.' It scared her to think about it now. She was so wrapped up in the fact that Jane was being taken and that Frankie was essentially dying on her morgue table that it had never occurred to her that Bobby would want to kill her.

Maura finally finished with the autopsy; she sewed up Becker's Y incision and put him in the cold storage. She retreated to her office and started to work on the report. Maura sat there at her desk and stared at her work.

A knock at her door was a welcome relief. "Come in." She said and Frost came in.

"I'm sorry I'm still working on the autopsy report, Detective Frost." Maura said to him.

"That's okay, I'm not actually down here about that." He said to her, "Mind if I sit down?" He asked.

Maura nodded, "Of course, please." She said and gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

"This may not be any of my business, and I hope you'll tell me if that's true." He started to say, "But I couldn't help but notice you and Jane earlier."

When Maura didn't say anything to protest, he continued, "I want you to know, that I have always been in favor of you and Jane as a couple, so I say this with some hesitation." He said, and then looked at her, "You just about destroyed her when you broke up with her. She's finally trying to mend things in her life." He said then smiled a bit, "She's still drinking like a fish but I call Angela every now and then and tell her that Jane's been out drinking and Angela makes sure to go over real early in the morning."

Maura didn't smile; it wasn't funny that Jane was still drinking so heavily. He stopped smiling when he saw that Maura didn't think it was as funny as he thought.

"Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, please, don't play with her." He said, "I know she acts like she's tough and can handle just about anything but, and you know this better than anyone, most times it's just an act to hide the hurt, sadness or confusion she's feeling."

"I understand why you're so protective of her." Maura said to him. "I don't have a clue if any of today's events have changed anything. But I promise you Barry, I'm doing my best not to hurt her again." She told him.

He nodded satisfied with her answer. He stood up, as he walked to the door he turned to her, "I know when you two broke up, we kind of just all faded away from you and took Jane's side." He said looking at her, "I want to apologize for that." He told her.

"Thank you Barry." She said to him with a smile. He smiled back then left her alone in her office.

Maura went back to making notes so she could finish up the autopsy report for Lieutenant Cavanaugh. She got distracted by her thoughts again. She thought about what Jane had said, how they never talked about their fears. It was true and it seems silly now that Maura hadn't thought to even address, that sometimes the job Jane did scared her. She wondered what Jane feared for Maura.

Maura went back to her report and was just about finished when a knock at her office door interrupted her. "Come in." Maura called out.

Angela poked her head in, "I'm not disturbing you am I?" She asked and Maura had to smile at that, since when did Angela cared about intruding?

"Not at all, please." Maura said to her and gestured to the chair in front of her. Angela came in with a brown paper bag and placed it on Maura's desk.

"It's just a little something to tide you over." Angela said as she sat down.

Maura opened up the brown bag and pulled out a green salad, a bottle of green iced tea and a tangelo. She smiled, "Thank you very much." She said as she folded up the brown bag and placed it off to the side.

"When I heard that you had been kidnapped," Angela said putting a hand on her chest, "My heart stopped." She looked at Maura, "I couldn't bear if anything happened to you."

"I'm fine Angela, really." Maura said to her, "Thanks to Jane." She added.

"Well, you know Janie, always the hero." Angela cringed when she said the words. "I'm sorry, it's just, you know she'd do anything for you."

Maura knew that, Jane had proven it in her own ways. "It's okay, I know what you mean."

"I'm so glad you two are getting a long better now. It's been a rough few months." Angela said and Maura nodded.

"You know, Maura, I never wanted to move out and leave you, but I had to." Angela said, "For Jane, but I felt like I was taking one daughter's side over another."

When Angela said that tears formed in Maura's eyes, "I didn't think you thought of me as your daughter too."

"Oh sweetie, please, you are as much my daughter as Janie. When you two got together, well I'll be honest; I was planning a wedding in my head." Angela said and Maura chuckled.

"I know you may not want to hear this, perhaps you're beyond it now, but Jane, she really loved you, I mean she still does but sometimes I'd watch the two of you together and I'd think, 'No one has ever made Jane so happy before in all her life' and it was so true." Angela said. "She let her guard down and it was only for you."

"And then I broke her heart." Maura said sadly as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"She broke yours a little too I think." Angela said as she put a hand on Maura's.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Maura asked.

Angela looked at Maura, "You'll have to ask her that yourself sweetie." She said then patted Maura's hand, "I better get going. If I'm away from the café too long Stanley gets crankier than ever."

She stood up and Maura walked around to the other side of her desk and opened the door for Angela. Before Maura knew it, Angela had pulled her into a hug. "I'm so happy you're safe." She said; as she squeezed Maura then let her go. Angela left the office and Maura shut the door after her.

Maura went and sat back down at her desk, she opened the salad that Angela had brought her, picked up her plastic fork and began to eat.

She thought back to Jane again, about how Jane said Maura dictated their break up, it was true she had done that and she'd done it for her own selfish reasons. She had needed to keep her distance from Jane, even if that meant hurting Jane beyond the initial break up.

Maura also thought about how close Jane was to kissing her back at the hospital and it made Maura's stomach tighten in a good way. God, she'd wanted Jane to kiss her, she wanted it so bad but she had to stop Jane. She couldn't let them just kiss and forget, even though it probably would have been the easiest thing to do. She knew they needed to talk, so she had stopped Jane and they tried to talk but things kept getting interrupted. Though, knowing Jane the talking wasn't over with and she'd probably insist on sitting down again and getting everything out in the open.

Maura finished her meal, and then finished her report on Becker. She was just about ready to take the report upstairs to Cavanaugh when her cellphone rang. "Hello, Dr. Isles." She answered.

"Maura, it's your mother." Constance said on the phone.

Maura checked her watch and calculated the time difference, "Mother, is everything okay? It's near midnight in London."

"Never mind the time, are you okay?" Constance asked with concern in her voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a few bruises mother but I'm okay." Maura told her. "Who called you?" She asked suspecting it was Angela.

"Jane did." Constance said and that completely shocked Maura.

"Really? Well she shouldn't have done that, I'm perfectly fine." Maura told her mother.

"Jane told me what happened, told me about a mobster named Tom Rourke having you kidnapped, having you tied up." Constance said, "How this man held a gun to your head."

"She shouldn't have worried you." Maura said to her mother.

"No, she shouldn't have, but you should have called me." Constance said getting upset.

"Tell me about Paddy Doyle." Maura said and there was silence on the phone.

"Maura, this isn't something to be discussed over the phone." Constance said to her.

"When would be the proper time to discuss it?" Maura asked, "Perhaps the next time I am kidnapped or how about at my funeral?"

"Don't say such things." Constance said with a gasp. Maura was silent on the phone.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly to Constance. "Thank you for calling to check on me."

"Maura, I assumed that when Jane called me that perhaps you had a chance to talk to her, to tell her how you feel." Constance said changing the subject.

"I really didn't have time, I mean between finding out my birth father is an Irish mobster, and being kidnapped, I just…." She sighed, "Mother, how do I tell her I wish the last 6 months never happened? How do I tell her, that I just want to go back to being us, together, happy and in love?"

"You just have to tell her. The worst that she can say is nothing." Constance told her. "Maura, you know she still loves you, I don't see the problem."

"I'm afraid I'll hurt her again." Maura confessed.

"You're both already hurting because you aren't together." Constance told her, "You don't need relationship advice from me Maura; you know what you want and what you need to do."

Maura let out a heavy sigh, "I know you're right." She said to her mother and Constance chuckled.

"I'll let you go now." Constance said, "I'm so happy you're okay Darling."

"Thank you, Mother for listening and for the advice." Maura said to her mother before they each hung up their phones.

When Constance got off the phone with Maura, she made one more call this time to a blocked untraceable number. There was no greeting from either party, she simple said, "Tom Rourke was behind the kidnapping. Do what you promised to do years ago and protect her." She then hung up.

Jane was upstairs working on her reports. She'd just finished getting reamed out by Cavanaugh for not properly informing him about what was going on in the case, including the fact that Dr. Isles got kidnapped, a suspect was released from custody to do the kidnapping and that Paddy Doyle was presumably back in town.

Jane dropped her pen on her desk and rubbed her eyes. She looked around the station, Korsak and Frost, who had also gotten their own personal reaming out from Cavanaugh, were gone, investigating Becker's murder. Jane was tired, she was sore and all she wanted to do was go home. But here she was stuck doing paperwork.

"Where are the boys?" Angela asked Jane as she came up to Jane's desk.

"Out there," Jane said flicking a hand towards the door, "Doing their jobs."

"I brought you something to eat since you didn't come down to the café." Angela said to her as she put down a brown paper bag on Jane's desk.

"Thanks, Ma, but honestly I'm not really that hungry." Jane said picking up the bag and moving it further away from her.

"You scared me today Jane. You know that right?" Angela asked looking at her tired daughter.

"I know, I'm sorry." Jane mumbled quietly.

"What's bothering you Jane?" Angela asked as she pulled a chair over to Jane's desk and sat down.

Jane leaned back in her chair, "I know you've never liked me being a detective, I know that is scares you and that you'd wished I'd gotten into a career where there was less risk to my life." Jane said looking at her mom, "But I love this job, I really do."

"I know you do Jane, but why are you telling me this?" Angela asked. She saw the look on her daughter's face that she was trying to work towards telling her something important so she knew not to push and to just let Jane say it.

"As much as you don't like it, you've accepted it." Jane said to her, "You've accepted a lot about me." Jane said with a small smile. "I just, I know you love me and you want me to be safe but I can't change the fact that this job entails dangers most jobs don't."

"Janie, are you sure it's me you want to be saying this to?" Angela asked her and Jane's eyebrows furrowed.

"All I'm trying to say is, maybe you'd rather be discussing this with someone else, someone who probably needs to hear this more than me." Angela said then looked at her daughter, "Perhaps someone blonde, with a medical degree, who's currently in the building, someone who …" Angela continued but Jane cut her off.

"Okay geez Ma, I get it." Jane said waving her mother quiet.

Angela smiled at her, "I'll see you later." Angela said to Jane then got up and left the squad room.

Jane sat at her desk; she finished her report for Cavanaugh, though what she was really doing was procrastinating on going down to the morgue and talking to Maura. Jane took the report in to Cavanaugh. She stayed in his office while he reviewed it before he handed it back to her and dismissed her.

She went back to her desk, tossed the report on it then headed for the elevators.

Frost and Korsak came out of the elevator, "Hey, I was just coming to look for you. Follow me." Frost said to her and he walked past her and Korsak followed. She looked at the elevator then back at Frost trying to decide what she should do, follow Frost or go talk to Maura. She reluctantly turned and followed Frost back to his desk.

"We got the warrant for the Roadside assistance, they've emailed me the last recording. " Frost told her as he typed on his keyboard. Korsak sat on the corner of Frost's desk.

The recording popped up on his screen and Frost played it, a female voice came on, "This is Road Assist we've been alerted that there has been an accident. Is everything ok?"

A male's voice answered, "Yeah sure, everything is just fine."

"And that right there is the voice of our killer." Jane said to them.

"I've loaded every voice recording we have on our list of suspects." Frost said to her as he typed more on his keyboard.

The computer worked through all the voices, scanning till it came to a result and a picture of Tom Rourke popped up on the screen.

"Now we have a confirmation that Tom Rourke is the one who killed Colin Doyle." Frost said.

"And most likely killed Becker too." Korsak added.

"Good job you guys." Jane said to them as she took off to the elevators.

"Where are you going?" Korsak called after her.

"I'm gonna go tell Maura we now know for sure who killed her brother." She said as she stepped onto the elevator.

Jane headed down to the morgue and knocked on Maura's office door. She went in when she heard Maura call her in.

"Hey." Jane said as she went and sat down in the chair across from Maura.

"Hello." Maura said to her.

"I'm surprised you're still here." Jane said, "I thought you'd be long gone for home."

"I've been working on Becker's autopsy report, I just now finished it." Maura said closing the folder, "Besides, I figured if I left without telling someone or being escorted I'd get yelled at again." She said giving Jane a little smile.

"You're damn right." Jane said returning the smile. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

"I'm fine." Maura said, "A bit sore, a little exhausted but I'm fine." Maura answered.

"I came down here to tell you we confirmed that Tom Rourke killed Colin." Jane told Maura.

"Oh, well I see." Maura said shifting a little in her seat. "Did he also kill Becker?" She asked.

"It looks that way, it was the same method, so it's looking like Tom Rourke is our suspect in both killings." Jane said to her.

Maura looked at Jane, "What are you not telling me?" she asked.

"Well, Paddy's known method for killing his enemies was with an ice pick." Jane told her, "So we could also suspect that Paddy killed Becker after finding out he sold out Colin and kidnapped you." Jane explained.

"It could be a possibility, but we know for sure that Tom Rourke killed Colin?" Maura asked.

"Without a doubt." Jane said to her. "Unfortunately he's a hard guy to find."

"So that means he won't pay for what he did to Colin?" Maura asked looking sad.

"I don't know." Jane said honestly with a shrug.

"I should get this report to Cavanaugh, and then probably go home." Maura said to Jane as she grabbed the report and her notes from her desk then stood up.

Jane stood up as well, "You know, you probably shouldn't be alone, especially with Rourke out there."

"You just said, you may never be able to find him, so how long exactly should I not be alone?." Maura said to Jane as she held the folders in her arms.

Jane didn't say anything. "Besides, where would I go? Who would look after me?" Maura asked.

Jane put her hands in her pockets, "Well maybe Frost or Korsak." Jane suggested, "Frankie could always do it too."

"Maybe you could do it." Maura said and Jane actually blushed, she'd been hoping Maura would say that but she didn't want to seem too eager about it.

"I could if you'd feel comfortable with that." Jane said to her trying not to sound too hopeful.

"That'd be fine." Maura said, "I have to drop these files off then we can go."

"Great." Jane said and they walked together to the elevator then got on.

Maura went into Cavanaugh's office while Jane went to her desk and put away her files.

"Hey, we can't just let her be without some kind of protection while Rourke is still out there." Frost said to Jane quietly from his desk across from hers.

"I know. I'm going home with her." Jane said trying to hide her smile, "Just for the protection, I swear it."

"Yeah try telling me that without the smile on your face." Frost said.

"Where's Korsak?" Jane asked looking around the squad room.

"I told him to go home and I'd do the paper work." Frost said to her.

"So nice of you." Jane said. She got up when she saw Maura coming out of Cavanaugh's office.

"Hey Jane." Frost said grabbing her lightly by the arm and she looked down at him.

"I'm glad you're ok and that everything worked out today, but next time, don't leave me out of the loop." He said. He waited to make sure she was actually listening to him, "I'm your partner and I can't have your back if I'm not around."

"Okay Frost." She said and nodded. "Okay."

He let her go as Maura approached them.

"Even though I told him you'd be there to watch over me tonight, Lieutenant Cavanaugh is going to have a patrol go by my house as well." Maura said to Jane.

"That's probably a good idea." Frost said.

"Good night Barry." Maura said to him with a smile, "Thank you for all your work today."

"Good night Dr. Isles." He said, "Good night Jane."

They got on the elevator and went down to the garage. Jane told Maura to just leave her car in the garage and they'd take hers.

"I'd like to go home and grab a change of clothes if that's ok." Jane said and Maura said that'd be fine.

Maura waited in Jane's living room while Jane went into her bedroom and rummaged through her dresser drawers.

Jane threw a pair of pajama bottoms, her favorite Boston Red Sox shirt, a couple pairs of underwear and some socks into a duffle bag. She grabbed a pair of slacks and a clean dress shirt in to the bag too. She had a clean blazer in her trunk. She zipped up the bag and went back out front.

"Let's go." She said and locked up for the night.

They got in Jane's car and Jane drove them to Maura's house.

Jane did a quick sweep of the house before she and Maura went inside.

It was so strange for Jane to be inside Maura's house. It was strange to think of it as Maura's house when they'd share it for so long only a little while ago.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Maura said going to her fridge.

"No, that's fine." Jane said standing awkwardly near the front door.

"Jane, you can come in and sit down you know." Maura told her.

Maura got herself a glass of wine and an ice pack for her cheek. She went and sat down on the couch and Jane went and sat in an arm chair across from her.

"My mother called me tonight." Maura said to Jane.

"I had to tell her, I knew you wouldn't and she needed to know." Jane said in her own defense.

"It's okay. She was mad at me first and she won't talk to me about Paddy, at least not yet." Maura said, "But we started talking about other things."

"Such as?" Jane asked leaning back in the chair.

"We started talking about the conversation we were having back in London." Maura told her then put her glass of wine down on the coffee table.

"You know, I noticed every time I ask about what you meant when you said your mother was wrong somehow the subject gets changed or we get interrupted." Jane said and then she started to look around Maura's house.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked her.

"Waiting for the interruption." Jane told her.

"I'll tell you what she meant, but I'd like to talk about something else first." Maura said to her.

"Ok, and what would that be?" Jane asked.

"I want to talk about the night you came over drunk." Maura said and Jane looked nervous.

She was hoping they wouldn't really have to talk about that at all, like ever.


	5. Chapter 5

"I was drunk Maura, I don't remember anything." Jane lied to her.

"I don't believe you." Maura said, "I think you do remember but you just don't want to remember."

Jane's brows furrowed, "Yeah maybe that's it."

"Jane, why do you get so drunk that you forget what happens?" Maura asked.

"So I don't remember, Maura. I don't want to remember that we aren't together anymore, that you used to love me." Jane said looking at her with sad eyes, "I don't want to remember things, like how it felt making love to you, or holding you close to me. How wonderful it was to wake up in the morning with you by my side." Jane shrugged her shoulders.

"For a few hours, I'm no one; I don't remember what it was like to be loved by you." Jane said sadly. "It's just an easier way to forget you."

"Why'd you come over that night? What did you think was going to happen?" Maura asked her.

"Come on Maura, why do you want to know that?" Jane asked as she rubbed one of the scars on the back of her hand.

"Just tell me." Maura said, "Please?"

Jane sighed; she looked down at her hands then closed her eyes for a minute before she opened them again, "I just thought if you could see me, if you could see how much I still loved you, that it'd change your mind." Jane said not looking at Maura.

"I wanted you to know that I was sorry for scaring you when I shot myself." Jane said then looked at Maura, "I'm not sorry for what I did though, I would have done that again in a heartbeat if it had meant saving you."

Jane waited thinking maybe Maura was going to say something but when she didn't Jane continued, "I wanted to see if you were still in love with me."

"Jane, you were drunk, anything I would have said to you, you probably wouldn't have remembered." Maura said to her.

"I remembered enough to know that you didn't say a word to me." Jane said clenching her jaw, "I wanted to ask you for a second chance, because I knew, I mean I still know we belong together."

"Jane…." Maura said waving her quiet for a minute; this was a little too much for Maura.

"Why do you act so surprised at what I'm saying?" Jane asked sitting forward in her chair, "You took my heart with you the day you walked out on me and you've had it ever since."

"You think I like being like this, a mess?" Jane asked getting upset, "You think I like having my mother come over early in the mornings after the nights I spend getting so shit-faced I can't remember how I got home because Frost calls and tells on me?"

"What I did, it wasn't a mistake but you made it seem that way. You made it seem that saving Frankie and you was this big mistake." Jane told her, "I just wanted you to see that I was fine now, that I was here and alive, and I wasn't going anywhere." Jane sighed as she thought back on that drunken night.

Jane stood up and started to pace in front of Maura, "You wanted me to change, and I have in some ways but now I'm not even sure who I am." Jane said then stopped pacing and looked at Maura, "Some days I have to stop myself from begging you to take me back."

"It's too painful to remember who we were together." Jane said then she went and sat back down in the arm chair.

Jane looked over at Maura and Maura looked like she wanted to cry. "Why didn't you say anything?" Jane asked, "You just stood there and never said a word. I was dying and you said nothing."

"Nothing I could have said to you that night would have made a difference." Maura told her.

"You could have said you still loved me." Jane said to her, "That would have made all the difference in the world to me."

Maura rubbed her eyes, she didn't know what to say, okay she knew what she should say but she couldn't do it, not tonight. Maura sighed, "I'll go get the guest room ready." Maura said getting up and heading for the stairs.

'There you go walking away again.' Jane thought in frustration.

"Don't bother; I'll just sleep on the couch." Jane said to her.

"I'll grab you a blanket and pillow then." Maura said then went upstairs.

Jane stood up and stretched. She took off her jacket and slung it over the back of the armchair she had been sitting in.

"You can use the guest bathroom to shower and change in if you like." Maura said coming back downstairs with the blanket and pillow. She set them on the end of the couch.

"Thanks." Jane said as she grabbed her duffle bag and went upstairs.

Jane went into the guest bedroom's bathroom and stripped off her dirty clothes. She turned on the shower and waited for the water to get scolding hot before she stepped in. She hoped it would burn away all of today's events.

She wondered if things had finally taken a turn with Maura, she wondered if now Maura saw why Jane was the way she was. She wondered if maybe they could get passed all of this and start on the road to being friends again. Even though Jane still loved Maura she knew that at least having Maura as her friend was better than nothing, at least that's what she kept telling herself.

After Jane was showered, she changed into her pajamas put her dirty clothes into her bag. She left the bedroom and went back downstairs. Maura was sitting on the couch finishing her glass of wine.

"I figured you'd have gone to take a shower too." Jane said as she sat back down in the armchair resting her head back and rubbing her tired eyes.

"I wanted to wait for you to be finished; I couldn't have you come downstairs and panicking at not being able to find me." Maura said with a small smile.

Maura got up from the couch and took her empty wine glass into the kitchen and put it in the sink. She lingered there staring out into space, her back to Jane.

"Jane, I'm sorry I hurt you so badly." Maura said not turning around. "I'm sorry that I messed up the best thing I ever had in my life." Maura took a moment then turned around when Jane didn't respond and saw that Jane had fallen asleep. She would have laughed if it wasn't so sad.

Maura went over to Jane put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a little shake, "Jane, why don't you get on the couch." She said.

"Mm-okay." Jane mumbled as she stood up still somewhat sleepy and trudged to the couch. She flopped down on to the couch, grabbed the pillow and tucked it under her head. Maura took the blanket and covered her up.

"Good night Maura." Jane said mumbling, "Love you."

Maura went and turned off the light, "Good night Jane, I love you too." She said quietly and sadly as she went upstairs.

Maura went into her room and sat on the end of her bed. She took off her shoes and rubbed her feet a little. She hadn't had much time today to think about how her body ached

She got up and went into her bathroom. She started the shower and waited for the water to warm up.

She took the gauze off her cheek and wrists and threw it away in the waste basket. She looked at herself in the mirror and didn't recognize herself. She was worn out and not just from today's events, not from the revelations that she'd had a half-brother or that her birth father was a mobster, not from the fact that she was kidnapped either.

All the things that she and Jane had talked about and yet nothing got resolved. Why couldn't she just tell Jane that she loved her and that she wanted to be with her again?

She was worn out by the game her heart and mind were playing with her. Her heart would tell her how easy it would be to tell Jane that she still loved her but then her mind would tell her that Jane would never forgive her for just walking away. Her mind would tell her, Jane is finally moving forward without you just leave her alone but her heart would tell her, this is and always will be the woman you love.

Maura sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror again, "This has got to stop." She said to herself.

The water stung her cheek and wrist but everywhere else it felt good. The heat felt wonderful on her tired muscles. Maura didn't linger too long in the shower because she started to think and she didn't want to think anymore, not about Jane, Colin or Paddy Doyle. She got out of the shower turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around her body.

She dried her hair then put on her pajamas. She climbed into bed and lay there wide away. She laughed, 'figures, I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep." She thought to herself.

Moments later she heard movement down the hall and panicked. She sat up in bed and looked around her room for something to grab. She got out of bed and grabbed a crystal swan she had on her dresser and clutched it in one hand as she hid behind her bedroom door and waited.

The bedroom door opened slowly. Maura yelled as she went to swing down, thank god Jane was quick on her feet and dodged Maura just in time before Maura could hit her in the head.

"What the hell Maura?" Jane yelled grabbing Maura's hand and snatching the crystal swan from her hand.

"I'm sorry." Maura said panting a bit, her hand over her heart. "I thought you were an intruder."

"Don't you think I would have heard if someone had broken in?" Jane said looking down at the item in her hand.

She looked back up Maura with surprise, "You kept it?" She asked.

Maura reached over and took the swan from Jane and placed it back on her dresser. "Yes."

Jane smiled; she'd given the crystal swan to Maura after they'd gone to see Swan Lake. Jane really didn't get ballet but Maura loved it and so Jane got her the swan for Christmas.

"Stop smiling." Maura said to Jane but Jane kept smiling, "You scared me half to death. What are you doing up here?"

Jane's smile faded away, "I was just checking on the house." Jane told her, "And I came to check on you too."

"I'm fine." Maura told her as they stood in her bedroom.

"Were you really gonna kill me with a gift I gave you?" Jane asked.

"Be serious Jane." Maura said, "It wouldn't have killed you. It may have knocked you out but you wouldn't have died."

"Good to know." Jane said staring at the swan. "Well I guess I'll let you get back to bed." Jane said and turned to leave.

"Wait." Maura said to her and Jane turned around. "I can't sleep."

"Come downstairs I'll make you something that will help." Jane said to her and she went downstairs.

Maura followed and Jane went into the kitchen. "Ma used to do this for us kids when we would have trouble sleeping." Jane told Maura as she went to the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk and a stick of butter.

Jane bent down and grabbed a sauce pan from the cupboard and put it on the stove top, she turned on the burner then poured in about a cup of milk and then cut in a pad of butter into it. She put the milk and butter away. She grabbed a spoon then stirred the milk while it warmed up.

Once the milk was warmed up she grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured the milk into it. She turned off the stove and handed the mug to Maura who looked at it suspiciously.

"Warm milk?" Maura asked peering into her mug.

"It works, I promise." Jane said to her as she took the pot to the sink and started to wash it. After she was done, Jane put it in the rack to dry. Jane turned around and leaned against the counter and watched Maura sip at her milk.

"What no Google talk about how warm milk triggers something in the brain and helps a person fall asleep?" Jane asked.

"My brain is too tired for that." Maura said looking at Jane.

Jane walked to the other side of the kitchen island where Maura was sitting. "Your cheek doesn't look so bad now." Jane said looking at it and Maura looked up at her.

"The swelling has gone down considerably." Maura said to her then went back to sipping her milk. "Your lip doesn't look too bad." Maura said staring at Jane's lips.

"Maura, what would you have said to me that night I showed up drunk?" Jane asked as she went and stood across from Maura on the other side of the kitchen island.

Maura wrapped her hands around her mug and stared into it, "I was mad at you Jane." She took another sip of her milk. "I probably would have just told you to go home and sober up."

"Yeah that sounds like something you would have said." Jane said disappointed.

"There were things I wanted to say Jane, but I just…" Maura said as she trailed off.

"What things?" Jane asked.

"What does it matter now?" Maura asked as she stood up and went over to the sink and poured out the rest of her milk.

"It matters because I want to know." Jane told her.

They stood in the kitchen together just staring at each other. "Any time I wanted to say something, I just kept going back to that day. I kept seeing all those horrific things happening." Maura told her, "So whatever I actually wanted to say to you that night, it wouldn't have mattered. I was still living in that moment." Maura told her.

"What about now?" Jane asked stepping closer to Maura, "Are you still living in that moment or have you moved past it?"

"Jane, I'll never forget that day, you know that." Maura said as she put her head down.

Jane took another step towards Maura. She lifted Maura's head up with a curled finger under her chin. They looked into each other's eyes, "When you came to my door that night, I saw how torn up you were. I knew it was my fault, I knew that you were in this state because of me." Maura said, "But I also thought, you deserved to suffer for what you put me through."

Jane dropped her hand from Maura's chin and took a step back. "So it was payback?" Jane asked getting upset.

"No, payback would involve me enjoying your suffering, but I didn't." Maura told her, "When you break up with someone, it doesn't mean you automatically stop caring for the person. I still worried about you Jane but that's all I seemed to do with you during that time." Maura told her.

"I worried if you would survive the hostage situation, if you were going to survive being shot. I worried all through your surgery. I worried during your recovery. Jane, I worried about you every step of the way and the more I thought about it, that at any of those steps I could have lost you I got sick to my stomach." Maura said placing a hand on her stomach.

"So when you came over that night, I looked at you and I thought, 'at least she's alive.' You were a mess Jane, and you were angry at me and I understood that. I could live with that but I had to stay strong, I was selfish, yes but I had to protect myself." Maura told her.

"You had to protect yourself from me?" Jane asked a hurt look on her face. "Wow, Okay." Jane said running a hand through her hair. She turned around and headed back over to the couch leaving Maura in the kitchen.

"Jane, that's not quite what I meant." Maura said taking a step to follow Jane but stopped.

"Nah forget it. It's totally fine." Jane said lying down on the couch and throwing the blanket over herself.

Maura turned off the kitchen light then headed for the stairs, "Good night Jane." She said.

"Yeah sure." Jane answered then rolled over.

Maura went upstairs and got into bed. She mentally berated herself for not just having the courage to tell Jane what she wanted to hear. Eventually Maura's brain fell silent and she fell into a deep sleep.

Maura woke up after having one of her terrible dreams about Jane, the one where she can't find Jane in the hospital and she's searching for her franticly after getting the word that she was okay. Maura sat up in bed and calmed her breathing. She looked around her dark and empty room. She gathered her wits and then got out of bed and grabbed her robe and put it on.

She crept downstairs and went over to the couch and looked down at Jane. She was sleeping on her back, a small snore coming from her slightly opened mouth.

Maura knelt down in front of her; "Jane." Maura whispered trying to wake her. All Jane did was smack her lips and mumble Maura's name.

Maura leaned in a little closer, "Jane." She said in a normal voice and without warning Jane woke up assumed something was wrong and went to reach for her gun on the coffee table. "Jane stop, it's ok, it's just me." Maura said grabbing Jane by the wrist. Jane looked at Maura, her eyes big and filled with confusion.

"What's going on?" Jane said looking around.

"I'm sorry I woke you." Maura said still kneeling on the floor.

Jane looked at Maura; and sensed something was up, "What's wrong?" She asked as she sat up on the couch and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. When Maura didn't answer Jane leaned over took Maura by the arms, picked her up a little and eased her on the couch next to her. Jane covered Maura's shoulders with her blanket.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked again.

"Jane, when you shot yourself, what were you thinking about?" Maura asked not wanting to admit she'd just had a bad dream

"You woke me up at," Jane said, then looked at her watch, "4:32 in the morning just to ask me what I was thinking about 6 months ago when I shot myself?"

"No, but I'd still like to know." Maura told her.

Jane sighed, and rubbed her face with her hand. "I was yelling shot him over and over again but the only thing that was running through my mind was you." Jane told her.

"All I could think was 'I'm never going to see or hold her again. I won't be able to tell her how much I love her, how much she's given to me." Jane said as she closed her eyes remembering.

"When I pulled the trigger, my only thought was, 'I love you Maura.'" Jane said then looked over at Maura who had tears in her eyes.

"Oh god." Maura said as she covered her face with her hands and cried.

Jane put an arm around her and pulled her close, "Shhh It's okay, Maura, that's all over with now." Jane continued to rub small circles on Maura's back till she stopped crying.

Maura sniffled, and sat up a bit and Jane removed her arm from around her. Maura wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Maura turned to Jane "I may have no right to ask you this, but…" She said then hesitated, "But do you think you could ever forgive me?" She couldn't even look directly at Jane when she asked that.

Before Jane could answer Jane's cellphone rang on the coffee table and Maura's cell could be heard ringing from upstairs. Maura hesitated a moment but then got up from the couch and headed for the stairs.

Jane answered her phone as she watched Maura go up the stairs. "Rizzoli." She said.

"Detective, this is dispatch; we have a body for you." A woman's voice said on the line. Dispatch gave Jane the location then hung up. Jane ran the address through her head, 'that sounds familiar.' She thought as she stood up. She went upstairs to the guest room and changed as quickly as she could. She was downstairs before Maura so she waited for her on the couch.

Maura came back downstairs dressed and ready to go. "Shall we?" She asked looking at Jane.

Jane stood up and Maura headed for the door, "Hey." Jane called after her and Maura turned around, "To answer your question, yes I can forgive you." Jane told her, "I already have."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's smut in this chapter. It's the first time I've ever written Rizzles smut so be gentle.

Jane and Maura arrived on the scene; and now Jane knew why the address seemed familiar, it was the same warehouse that Maura had been held in. Inside the body of Tom Rourke was sitting tied to a chair. Maura approached cautiously, Jane followed close behind. An ice pick had been plunged deep inside Rourke's chest 'No doubt hitting the heart' Maura thought.

On a closer examination Maura noticed something pinned by the ice pick to Rourke's chest. Maura put on her gloves and then slide the ice pick out of his chest. She picked up the item; it was a picture of a young Paddy Doyle holding a baby. Maura stared at it, and then handed it to Jane. "It's me as a baby." Maura said looking at Jane as she handed it to her.

"And Paddy Doyle." Jane said giving the photo over to Korsak.

Maura looked back at Rourke, "How did he know that Rourke was behind it?" Maura asked.

"Doyle has contacts in the BPD Maura, I'm sure that's how word got to him." Jane said as she took the ice pick from Maura and put it in an evidence bag.

"Either way I think Rourke and the others out there got the message loud and clear." Jane said to her and Maura gave her a curious look.

"Don't think about messing with my family." Korsak said staring right at Maura.

Maura looked at them then back at Rourke, no matter how Paddy Doyle found out things were finally taken care of.

Maura had her team work with the body and get it shipped back to the morgue while Jane and her team looked for evidence even though they knew there was nothing to be found.

Once back at the station Cavanaugh called the 3 detectives into a meeting to go over the events of the last 2 days.

Half way through doing Rourke's autopsy; Maura's cellphone rang. She stripped her gloves off then answered the phone.

"Hello, Maura." Constance said on the phone.

"Hello Mother." Maura said, "Is everything okay?"

"You know Maura, there doesn't have to be something wrong for me to call you." Constance told her. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, how the case was coming along."

"Well, I can't really talk about it, but the man behind my kidnapping is dead." Maura told her. She didn't want to mention Colin, not till they could talk about Paddy Doyle as well.

"Oh well, that's unfortunate for him." Constance said to her.

"Mother, at the scene there was a picture of me as a baby with Paddy Doyle." Maura told her, "How did he get a picture of me as a baby?"

"I'm not quite sure; it must have been before we adopted you." Constance told her.

"Perhaps you're right." Maura said not quite convinced.

"I'm glad you're safe now." Constance said to her.

"Thank you. It's been a difficult few days." Maura told her.

"I'm sure it has." Constance said.

"I'm sorry but I do have to go now, I'm actually in the middle of an autopsy." Maura told her mother as she glanced down at the body on her table.

"Yes, of course, I'll talk to you later." Constance said and they hung up.

Maura put her phone away and put on a fresh pair of gloves before she resumed her work.

After the autopsy was complete she went into her office to get her notes in order and work on her report.

After the group meeting with Cavanaugh everyone but Jane was dismissed. Cavanaugh wanted to talk to her about a possible reprimand for going off on her own and leaving him out of the loop. They finished their talk and he told her to go home and get some rest.

Jane went back to her desk and slumped down in her chair. She rubbed her eyes and stared around the squad. She was happy all this bullshit with Tom Rourke was over with. More than likely Paddy Doyle would go back into hiding and get away with Rourke's' murder just like he'd gotten away with several others before.

Frost and Korsak came into the squad together, "Hey what are you still doing here?" Korsak asked her.

"I work here, remember?" Jane said shuffling papers on her desk to look busy.

"Go home Jane, you look like hell." Korsak said to her.

"Wow, you sure know how to win a girls heart don't you?" Jane said grumpily as she stood up.

"You did good out there Jane." Korsak said, "Just go home."

She smiled at him, turned off the light on her desk and headed for the elevators.

They'd been working on this case all day trying to wrap everything up and it was now well after dinnertime and Jane just wanted to go home, order a pizza, drink some beer and fall asleep on the couch.

In the elevator, she hit the basement button instead of the garage one. She just wanted to check on Maura and make sure she was okay. Jane got off the elevator and headed into the morgue. She knocked on Maura's closed office door but got no response. She tried the door knob but the door was locked 'Must have gone home.' Jane thought with a shrug of her shoulders. She went back to the elevators and went to the garage.

Maura got home and put her briefcase down on the end table by her door. It was a long day she was looking forward to a glass of wine and to decompress. Thoughts started to filter into her head though and it kept her from unwinding completely.

Maura went over to her fridge pulled out a bottle of wine and popped the cork. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured the wine. She kicked her heels off in the kitchen then padded over to her couch and sat down. She took a health sip and closed her eyes. Maura's cell phone rang and scared her out of her peaceful moment.

She leaned forward, put her glass down and grabbed her phone from the coffee table. "Hello."

"Maura, hello, I'm not disturbing you am I?" Constance said on the phone.

"Not at all, I just got home." Maura said as she picked up her wine glass.

"Maura I know you've had a rough couple of days. So much has been going on that you probably haven't had time to speak to Jane but maybe now that it's all over with you can speak to her." Constance said to her.

"Jane and I have talked; we've talked more in the last 2 days than we have in the last 6 months." Maura told her mother then took a sip of wine.

"Yes, I'm sure you did talk but was it anything you really wanted to tell her?" Constance asked, "Like maybe that you still love her and you want to be with her?"

Maura sighed on the phone, "What do I do?" She asked, "Do I just blurt it out to her?"

"I don't know darling but you have to do something or you will lose her forever." Constance told her.

"I know." Maura said quietly on the phone.

"I'm sorry, Maura. I wish I could make this easy for you." Constance said with a softness in her voice.

"I know." Maura said again, "Good night Mother." Maura said.

"Good Night Maura." Constance said and they hung up.

Maura sat on the couch sipping her wine. She started to think about Jane, about why she'd broken up with her, why she stayed distance from her. Could Maura really accept Jane, every bit of her including the dangers in her job? Had so much changed in the last few months that she'd be willing to put away her fears and just love Jane for who she was?

Jane got into her car and was heading home when she realized she'd left her overnight bag at Maura's.

She drove over to Maura's and stopped the car in the drive way. She sat there thinking, she wondered if now that this case was over with, if things between Maura and her would go back to being just business friendly. Jane had hoped that since they'd talked a lot over the last couple days that things might be different now. Maybe they could go out for a beer every now and then, maybe Maura would come over and they could watch a game, or a documentary or whatever. All Jane knew was, she didn't want to go back to being just another person Maura worked with.

The doorbell rang and Maura got up from the couch and answered the door. "Hi." She said seeing Jane there.

"Hi, sorry to bother you but I left my bag here from the other night." Jane said to her.

"Oh, yes well come on in." Maura said stepping back to let Jane in. "I believe it's still upstairs in the guest room."

"Ok thanks." Jane said going upstairs and into the guest room. Minutes later Jane came back downstairs with her bag.

"Got it." She said with a smile, "I'll see ya later." Jane said to her as she headed for the front door and opened it.

Maura panicked at seeing Jane go, her brain and heart both screamed at her, 'don't let her leave!'

"I lied." Maura confessed before Jane could walk completely out the door.

"What are you talking about?" Jane asked confused as she turned around to face Maura.

"That day in the hospital, I lied." Maura said, "It's the only time I have ever told you a bold face lie."

"What did you lie about?" Jane asked her.

"I lied when I said I loved you." Maura said looking at Jane.

"Oh so you mean you never really loved me?" Jane asked getting angry. She shut the front door and glared at Maura. "Why would you tell me something like that?"

"No Jane," Maura said stepping closer to Jane. "I mean I never stopped loving you."

Jane looked at Maura in disbelief, "Why are you saying this?" Jane asked wondering if it was some kind of cruel joke.

Maura stood within inches of Jane, "Because I'm so tired of pretending and fighting it." She said grabbing a handful of the front of Jane's shirt, "I'm so tired of holding it all back." She said as she pulled Jane closer and kissed her. Jane didn't even try to stop Maura, she just kissed her back.

Eventually they had to breathe so Maura pulled back first and Jane growled at her. "I'm sorry." Maura said to Jane.

"Don't apologize, just keep kissing me." Jane said leaning forward to resume the kissing but Maura placed a hand on Jane's chest to stop her.

"No, I have to say this Jane, I'm sorry for hurting you." Maura said as she looked into Jane's eyes. "I'm sorry for not accepting that being a detective is who you are, and if I want you, I have to accept all of you, not just the parts I can live with." Maura told her. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for leaving you, for making you feel guilty for doing your job." Maura said, "God, you mean so much to me."

"I forgave you already Maura." Jane said, and then leaned in and kissed Maura again on the lips; she put her hands on Maura's hips and directed her back to the couch while they kissed.

Jane stopped kissing Maura and pulled back, "I have to know if you truly mean it, if you truly mean you're going to accept me, just like this?" Jane said looking at her, "I love you Maura, I do, but I love this job and I can't be worrying about you worrying about me while I'm doing my job."

"I mean it Jane, I swear to you." Maura said and that's all it took for Jane to resume their kissing.

Maura pushed Jane's jacket off her shoulders and Jane shrugged it off and it fell to the floor. Maura didn't waste any time trying to unbutton Jane's dress shirt she just ripped it opened, the buttons flew everywhere. She pushed Jane onto the couch. Jane looked up at her as Maura unbuttoned her blouse slowly. Maura smiled down at Jane as she removed her shirt.

Maura got to her knees and unzipped Jane's pants as Jane removed her shoes. Maura removed Jane's pants completely and flung them over her shoulder and across the room. Jane was now sitting in nothing but her bra and underwear.

Maura stood up and carefully unzipped her skirt and shimmed out of it, giving it a kick as it fell to the floor. She stepped closer to Jane then straddled her lap.

Jane 's hands held onto Maura's hips and squeezed as Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane's neck, sucking hard on it. Jane closed her eyes and groaned.

Maura kissed Jane on the lips and moan into her mouth when Jane grabbed and dug her fingers into the supple flesh of Maura's ass. Maura slowly pushed her tongue inside Jane's mouth as her hands moved from Jane's neck to her breasts; she pulled down the cup on Jane's bra. She kissed her way down Jane's neck and chest then latched her mouth onto a hard nipple and sucked, swirling her tongue around, scraping her teeth on it as she released one nipple then went to do the same to the other.

Maura sat up and smiled at Jane and that gave Jane the opportunity to take advantage of the ample breasts that were right in her face. Jane unhooked Maura's bra and removed it completely so she now had a much better view. She gave Maura a wicked smile as she leaned forward and kissed and licked the valley between Maura's breasts.

Maura leaned back and her hands went into Jane's hair as she held onto Jane's head. Maura pulled Jane's head back and kissed her again on the mouth; she took Jane's bra off and smiled as she zeroed in on the mole that was placed ever so nicely in the middle of her breasts. Jane's hands ran up Maura's back and into her hair, "Bedroom." Jane grunted. She didn't even bother letting Maura stand up she just put her hands under Maura's ass and hauled them both up off the couch. She carried Maura carefully up the stairs almost losing her footing when Maura wrapped her legs around Jane's waist and started sucking on Jane's earlobe.

Jane tossed Maura onto the bed and she bounced a little. Jane kneeled on the bed by Maura's feet. She grabbed the waist band of Maura's black panties and pulled them down; Maura lifted her hips a little so Jane could get them passed her butt. She pulled them all the way off and tossed them on the ground.

Jane took a moment to appreciate Maura's nakedness. She'd almost forgotten just how beautiful Maura's body was. Jane crawled up Maura's body, a leg resting between Maura's. Jane kissed Maura's belly button, kissed her stomach. Jane kissed her way all the way up Maura's torso.

"Jane." Maura said breathlessly but Jane didn't hear her, she was too busy licking and sucking on Maura's right nipple. "J-Jane." Maura stuttered out pulling on Jane's head a little so she'd look up.

Jane's head came up and she looked into Maura's eyes, Maura cocked her head a little, and smiled, "I love you Jane."

Jane smiled back at Maura; it was what she'd wanted to hear for such a long time. "I love you too Maura." They stared at each other for a moment longer then Jane went back to work.

Jane kissed and sucked on Maura's collar bone, her left hand made its way in between their bodies. She smiled against Maura's neck when she felt just how wet Maura was. Jane pushed a finger inside and Maura clung to Jane's shoulders and let out a moan. Jane sliding another finger inside and used her leg as leverage. She kept a steady rhythm as she rocked and Maura's hips matched her.

Maura pulled Jane up so she could kiss her, her tongue shoved into Jane's mouth and Jane moaned as their rhythm intensified, Jane twisted her fingers inside of Maura and her thumb grazed back and forth over Maura's clit. Jane could feel Maura's muscles clenching around her fingers. Maura's fingers dug into Jane's back as she came and let out a loud moan.

Jane collapsed, her body slightly on top of Maura, she laid her head down on Maura's chest. Both women were breathing hard; Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and kissed the top of her head. "I've missed you." Maura said and Jane smiled against Maura.

They lay there just listening to each other breathe. Jane was so quiet Maura thought she's fallen asleep, she ran a hand down Jane's bare back, "Are you okay?" Maura asked quietly.

Jane turned her head and looked up at Maura, "Mmm I'm great." She said with a smirk.

"Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed?" Maura asked, moving a lock of Jane's hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear only for it to fall back in front of her face again.

"Trying to get me to fall asleep so you can sneak out in the middle of the night?" Jane asked smiling.

"This is my house, Jane. Why would I sneak…." Maura started to say then realized that Jane was joking.

Jane shifted a little and kissed Maura softly on the lips.

"Ok, your turn now." Maura said and pushed Jane off her and onto her back catching Jane by surprise

Maura straddled Jane's legs and smiled down at her. Jane's hands rubbed up and down Maura's thighs. "Ah, none of that now." Maura said as she removed Jane's hands from her. Jane pouted and Maura smiled at her. She bent down and kissed Jane's stomach, kissed a trail up to Jane's left breast, she took Jane's nipple into her mouth and sucked on it hard. Jane hissed, putting a hand in Maura's hair and pulling her into a kiss. Maura rocked her hips and grinded down on Jane as they kissed.

Maura's hands moved to Jane's breasts, and knead them as her kisses moved from Jane's mouth to her jawline. She trailed kisses franticly down Jane's body, "Maura." Jane breathed, "You're killing me."

Maura tilted her head up and smiled at Jane as she continued to kiss down the rest of Jane's stomach. She stopped at the waist line of Jane's underwear, she looked up at Jane. "Please." Was all Jane had to say and Maura pulled off Jane's underwear.

Maura kissed down Jane's right thigh just to her knee, then kissed up her left thigh, she took Jane's leg at the knee and put it over her right shoulder then she dipped down and kissed down Jane's thigh again before she reached Jane's curls. She took in a deep breath as she dipped her tongue inside of Jane.

Jane's hips bucked up, her hand went into Maura's hair, "Fuck." She said drawing the word out as Maura licked up her length and slowly sucked on her clit.

Maura grabbed onto Jane's hips to keep her steady as she swirled her tongue around Jane's clit, her tongued moved back down and dipped deep inside, getting a real good taste of Jane.

"Oh Maura." Jane moaned, her grip in Maura's hair tighten as she threw her head back and closed her eyes. Jane came with a moan so loud Maura was sure the neighbors heard it.

Maura crawled up Jane's sweat soaked worn out body and laid down in her arms. Jane kissed Maura on the lips, and pulled her close and they settled into each other. Silence filled the bedroom.

"So work tomorrow's going to be awkward." Jane said and she and Maura laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

Angela Rizzoli had always worried about her daughter but for the last 6 months she'd been getting occasional calls from her partner, Barry Frost that Jane had gone out drinking, gotten drunk and would probably very much appreciate a 7am wake up visit from her mother.

So last night, when Angela didn't get the call, she worried about Jane. She'd call Jane's cell phone a few times and when she couldn't get ahold of her, she called her son Frankie.

"Ma, I'm sure she's just fine." Frankie told her over the phone.

"Frankie, what if she's fallen in her bathroom and she needs help?" Angela said to him with worry.

Frankie sighed, "I'll come get you." He said and hung up. Frankie was getting tired of having to pick up the mess his sister left.

Minutes later Frankie picked his mother up and they drove over to Jane's. Angela pounded on Jane's apartment door. They waited for a response but got nothing. Angela dug through her purse and pulled out a key.

"Ma, you have a key?" Frankie asked as she put in in the lock.

"It's for emergencies." Angela said to him as she unlocked the door and opened it.

"Does Jane know you have a key?" He asked her, with a cocked eyebrow.

"It's for emergencies." Angela repeated as they went inside Jane's apartment.

Angela went into Jane's room and saw that Jane wasn't there, the bed wasn't made but Jane never made her bed. Angela checked the bathroom to make sure Jane wasn't lying unconscious on the floor.

"She's not here; I don't think she was here all night." Angela told Frankie as she came back out into the living room.

"I didn't see her car out front either." Frankie said as Angela pulled out her phone and called Jane again. It rang three times and then went to voicemail.

"Come on." Angela said as she hung up and they locked up and left.

They cruised over to a couple of the bars that Jane liked to go to, including the Dirty Robber but they didn't see her car. While they drove around Angela was talking on the phone with Frost who was at the precinct with Korsak.

"I called her countless times Barry." Angela said to him.

"I'm sure she's fine Mrs. Rizzoli." Frost told her. "I don't think she went out drinking last night. She said she was tired and just wanted to go home."

"She wasn't at home, her bed wasn't slept in. The car is gone." Angela told him. "What if she's in a ditch somewhere?"

"I'll do some checking Mrs. Rizzoli and get back to you." Frost said to her then hung up.

"Jane's going to give her mother a heart attack." Korsak said to Frost.

"Yeah, if Mrs. Rizzoli doesn't kill Jane first." Frost said as he typed Jane's cellphone number into his computer.

"Barry doesn't know where she could be." Angela told Frankie as she put her cellphone back into her purse.

"I've got an idea." Frankie said as he turned the car around and drove east.

"Where are we going?" Angela asked as he drove.

"We're going to Dr. Isles' house." He told her.

Just as Frankie turned into the driveway a car pulled in behind them. Frankie and Angela got out of the car and Frost and Korsak emerged from the other.

Frankie gave Frost a look, "I tracked her cellphone signal." Frost said with a shrug.

Maura was snuggled closed to Jane who was lying on her back sound asleep. Maura lifted her head, pulled the blankets down a little to expose Jane's chest and abdomen. She looked back at Jane's face to make sure she was still asleep. Maura looked down at the scar that plagued Jane's perfect body. She sighed as she looked at it. She brushed her fingers over the scar tissue and a sense of sadness and fear washed over her. She rested her hand on the scar and closed her eyes.

The sudden warmth of Jane's hand on hers startled her, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you." Maura said removing her hand from under Jane's as she looked at her.

"I don't mind it one bit." Jane smiled, "Waking up naked with you next to me is the best way to wake up."

Maura was still thinking about Jane's scar, "Don't." Jane said to her seeing the look on Maura's face, "Don't start hiding from me again." Jane said as she sat up.

"It's just a scar, ok, just a stupid reminder of something I had to do." Jane told her and Maura looked at her, "All scars fade in time." Jane said to her, "This one will too." She said putting an arm around Maura and pulling her close. Maura put her head on Jane's shoulder.

The doorbell rang, "I wonder who that could be this early in the morning." Maura said and Jane shrugged. Maura got out of bed and put on her robe. Jane admired the quick glimpse of Maura's naked form in the morning light before it was covered by her robe.

Maura went downstairs and Jane got up out of bed and realized her shirt, which was now button-less, her bra and her pants were still downstairs. Jane looked for her underwear for a good ten minutes but couldn't find them. She grabbed the blanket from the bed wrapped it around herself and headed downstairs.

"Hey Maura, have you seen my underwear?" She asked coming down the stairs and into the living room. She realized too late what she'd said as she saw her mother, brother, Frost and Korsak standing in the kitchen area with Maura. "Oh shit!" Jane cursed as she tightened the covers around her.

Frost and Korsak laughed.

Frankie just smirked, "Alright big sister."

Angela looked confused. "What's going on here?" Angela asked looking around at everyone then back to her daughter.

"Never mind Ma, let's go for now." Frankie said grabbing his mother by the arm and guiding her to the front door. "I'll explain it to you later."

"Uh, see you at work Rizzoli." Korsak said as he stood up and headed for the front door.

"Good to see you aren't lying dead in a ditch somewhere." Frost said smiling at Jane as he followed Angela and Frankie out the front door and closed it behind them.

"Yes work is defiantly going to be awkward now." Maura said to Jane with a laugh.

After everyone left Jane managed to find her underwear then she gathered up the rest of her clothes. She put her ruined shirt in her duffle back and put on her Boston Red Sox shirt. Maura had gone upstairs and was taking a shower. Jane turned the coffee maker on and waited impatiently for it to finish brewing.

She looked at her cellphone and noticed 5 missed calls from her mother, 2 from her brother, 1 from Frost and 2 from Korsak. She smiled as she deleted them. The phone buzzed in her hand and she almost dropped it.

A text message from her mother popped up. 'Are you and Maura a couple again?' Jane smiled at her mother's nosiness. Jane texted her mother back 'Keep your fingers crossed'

Jane was pouring two cups of coffee as Maura came down the stairs dressed and ready for work.

Jane handed Maura one of the cups. "Thank you." She said smiling to Jane.

"Jane, about last night…." Maura said but Jane interrupted her.

"Look, before you say anything, just know this. Whatever this is that's going on between us, wherever it may lead us, I'm willing to go Maura." Jane said, "But I gotta know if you're willing as well because I love you and I want you and I can't be without you, especially not after last night."

Maura put her coffee cup down on the counter and approached Jane, she wrapped her arms around Jane's waist and pulled her close, "I love you too, Jane." Maura said then kissed her.

Maura pulled back and let go of Jane. "I never should have left you."

Jane smiled at Maura, "I never should have let you go so easily."

Maura went back to her seat at the kitchen island. Jane went over to the phone, grabbed the notepad and a pencil and scribbled something down. She folded the paper up and grabbed her coffee cup. She leaned forward on the counter, taking a sip of her coffee; she put the piece of paper on the counter and slid it over to Maura with the pencil.

She averted her eyes as Maura took the paper and unfolded it and read what it said.

'Do you want to be my girlfriend?' under that were 3 boxes.

After Box one it read: Yes

After Box two it read: No (you have to explain it to my mom)

After Box three it read: Let's just go back upstairs and have sex again.

'Check one box.'

Maura laughed, she mulled over the question. She looked up at Jane who just stood there quietly sipping her coffee.

Maura picked up the pencil and made her selection then folded the paper back up and slid it back over to Jane. She took a long sip of her coffee as she looked at Jane.

Jane opened the paper and looked, the first box was checked and the 3rd box was also check but underneath it, Maura had wrote, 'later, after work, all night, till you're screaming my name.'

Jane's eyebrows went up, she smiled, "Alright then." She tucked the piece of paper in her pocket.

Jane and Maura's cellphones went off at the same time ruining their flirty little moment. Dispatched was calling to inform them of a body. "I guess the real world beckons." Maura said standing up.

"Wait, before we go back out into the fray," Jane said as she reached into her pant pocket. "I want you to have this." Jane said pulling out her pocket knife, "Pop gave it to me when I went into the Academy." She said holding it out to Maura.

"Jane, no." She said shaking her head, "You keep it, I won't need it." Maura said to her.

"You never know, you might." Jane said still holding the knife out to her.

"As long as I can count on you." Maura said, "I know I'll never need it."

Jane cupped Maura's face and kissed her, "You're such a girl sometimes." Jane said as she pulled back.

"Come on, let's get you showered and ready for work." Maura said taking Jane by the hand and leading her upstairs.

"Hey, you know there's one thing you never answered me about." Jane said as she followed Maura upstairs.

"Hmm, what's that?" Maura asked as they went into her bedroom.

"Your mother, what was she wrong about?" Jane asked as Maura helped Jane take her Red Sox shirt off.

"Oh that?" Maura said looking at Jane's perfect breast, she curled her fingers in the loops of Jane's pants and pulled her close. She leaned in and kissed Jane, "She wasn't."


End file.
